lavamaughnster's Journal

9:30pm: CAN I GET A SUUUUUUUUUUUUU?!?!?!??!

1:28am: Immortal
More than anything, I miss waking up next to you.
You always disappear just as I awake.

12:35pm: My glocko pop pop pop


Tattoo tomorrow!
:D!

1:27pm: I couldn't wait to get her home
So I could explore her dark continent.


Ummmmmmmmmm, I'm not sure if I like Ari anymore.
I'm kind of turned off, since she wanted to have sex with me.
Uhghghghghg, it's probably best I'm alone for a while anyway.
New Holga or tattoo this weekend!
WOO WOO!!!
:D

2:47pm: You should Know
I miss this:


I love you so much.
I'm glad you're happy with your life, now.

11:54am: When I remember
How is McDonalds the first thing you eat after having surgery for an ulcer?!?!
Some people, man.

1:00pm: I love you
Don't ever fucking question that.

12:18pm: Michael Jackson gloves

10:05am: Hello, Darlin'
Nice to see you
It's been a long time
You're just as lovely
As you used to be
How's your new love?
Are you happy?
Hope you're doin' fine
Just to know it
Means so much to me
What's that, Darlin'?
How'm I doin'?
Yes, I'm doin all right
Except, I can't sleep
And I cry all night til' dawn
What I'm trying to say
Is I love you
And I miss you
And I'm so sorry
That I did you wrong
Look up, Darlin'
Let me kiss you
Just for old times sake
Let me hold you
In my arms, one more time
Thank you, Darlin'
May God bless you
And may each step you take
Bring you closer
To the things you seek to find
Goodbye, Darlin
Gotta go, now
Gotta try to find a way
To lose these memories
Of a love so warm and true
And if you should ever find it in your heart
To forgive me
Come back, Darlin'
I'll be waiting for you

3:06pm: Damn
Fuck my life.
Fuck my friends.
Fuck everyone.
That's truth.

12:23am: Don't fear
Ooh I think she likes me!
Ooh I think she likes me!
Tonight was great.
Hellza mad peepz perched on my shit yo.
That shit was nice.
I appreciate that.
YO CHIIIILLLLLl!
PEACE!

11:52am: Cracked lips
Fuck my life!

10:55pm: I know
THIS FRIST FRIDAY!



I'll have a painting on display.
However, I might not be able to make if I have to work.
Sucks big time, but I guess that's life.
Peace.
ONE LOVE!

12:14pm: Got used to the feeling of falling
H U S T L E !

11:43pm: Hearts burst open
These past couple days I've been through a couple highs and lows.
My painting's almost done.
I could quite possibly have a job at either Aaron Brothers or Dick Blicks soon.
I guess I'm not going to be able to see Doctor Pratt, tomorrow.
I think I'm going to have to ask my dad to take me to Aaron Brothers.
Pretty soon I won't have to depend on anybody at all.
And when I get enough gwop, I'm going to travel.
Peez 2 da godz!
Peez 2 da urff!

10:32pm: I'll always be by your side
Busy, busy, busy!
That's how it goes.
Between working on Tyler's painting, starting this Dracula painting for the show (Which is looking really good so far), planning on trying to get a tattoo apprenticeship, helping my mom clean houses, checking up on my status at Aaron Brothers and Subway, practicing for my next driving test and trying to stay clean, I've managed to make some big changes in my attitude and the way I approach people.

I love Tyler and Jinny and my mom and Sahara and Natara and painting and I have to go so I can paint more.

Stay beautiful!

12:19pm: RIOTS ON THE STREETS OF MIAMI!
I love Tyler, Jinny, Sahara and Elyssa!
Life is great the past couple days.
The weather is just beautiful.
It smells like October everywhere I go, and it's been raining.
The only downside is I've been alone through most of it.
But hey, that's just incentive to do better!
I should've went to Family Day, but Tyler ditched me last minute, and I didn't want to go alone.
Time to go wash my comforter!
I love life.
I love you.

3:43pm: Change the subject
I'm in a great mood!
I hope tonight is tight!
I love everyone!

10:31pm: Slides for your heart
I've not a clue what to do, and even less people to talk to.
Good luck, Tyler, on your test.

7:32pm: I can be anything I want to be!

8:36pm: Jinny,
I could never ever ever ever ever ever hate you!

1:12pm: But mostly
I'm afraid to leave my room.
I have really bad anxiety when I think about going outside.
I have the worst soar throat and would like some tea, but my mom won't answer her phone.
That makes me feel even worse thinking that, because yesterday she was yelling at me saying that when my father was my age he rode his bike all over town to do what he needed to do.
I feel like the lowest person on earth.
I'm not "just like my father" anymore.
I don't even compare.
I'm 18 and I don't have a liscense or a job.
I painted yesterday, and I most likely will today, too.
I'm afraid to think negative thoughts, now.
I'm afraid of too much.
I just want my life to go back to how it was when I was a good boyfriend.
That's all I want.
Jinny was the only person that made me feel important, worthwhile, and appreciated.
All this thinking's not good for me.
I don't even know when I'll go in for a stand-in.
I was supposed to go at 6:00 this morning, but my mom decided to schedule a cleaning of Aunt Tina's house at 8:30.
I told her in a calm, respectful voice that I would try to find somebody else to take me, but she got pissed and started yelling at me and called my sister over to let her know how fucked up I was being towards her.
She said we could go Wednesday, and didn't tell me why we couldn't go tomorrow.
I'm fucked out of college now, I'm sure.
I feel like I fucked my whole life up.
I don't have the girlfriend I had, It's too late to go to school, and I doubt I'll even get to move in January.
I've cried every day this past week.
I hope I can make a permanent change.
I really do.

3:52am: Thought of you
My throat very much hurts and I can't fall asleep due to constant coughing.
I sure do wish I had some Chamomile Tea.
I'm to wake up at 10:00 a.m. to go job hunting.
Sucks my mom's bailing on me in the morning to clean my aunt's house.
Wish me luck!

4:50pm: Stay
I wish I had somebody that wanted to listen to me.

7:51pm: Reverse
I used to make you happy.